


un/thinkingly

by silent_h



Series: almost (an eldritch!laurel au) [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Body Horror, Eldritch, Emetophobia, Gen, Non-Linear Narrative, all them fun tags !, plus various other ppl show up for a few lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 22:18:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silent_h/pseuds/silent_h
Summary: You were the strong one.





	un/thinkingly

19.

_he hurt you_ , she murmurs. there’s something soft in her voice. _he was going to hurt you_.

 

2.

_you can’t hurt anyone else_ , you say, and hope that it works. _not here. not them. no matter what they do. they’re my team_. no, that’s wrong. that’s not enough. _they’re my_ family _. and you can’t hurt my family, okay?_

she’s still not looking at you.

_do you—_ you bite your lip. _do you remember what that means?_

she fades away without answering.

 

4.

you almost don’t hear the scream.

 

7.

_i can’t help. i’m not. i’m not sure what it’d do to her_. _and i’m_ really _not sure what it’d do to you_. even distorted by the phone and the unmeasurable distance of time, you’ve never heard john’s voice that gentle. _i’m sorry, love._

 

10.

you both jump when the phone rings. her face doesn’t change but. she jumps.

she jumps and you allow yourself to relax, ever so slightly.

 

12.

you don’t mean to start laughing, but. well.

boats and ninja cults and magic and superheroes and resurrections and metahumans and time travel and aliens and alternate realities and reality controlling spears and it _never stops_ and you are so tired and what else can you do but laugh?

 

8.

_what does it feel like?_

_i don’t— i don’t know how to describe it._

 

14.

_it’ll be fun,_ you say. you grin. _do you remember fun? did you ever know what fun is?_

she has too many teeth in her smile. _don’t be an asshole_ , she says, and you laugh delightedly.

your sister your sister your sister.

_sorry,_ you beam. you nudge her, ever so slightly. it’s like falling against a burning curtain, like placing your face to an old tv set and feeling the static against your skin. _i’m your little sister. it’s literally impossible not to be._

 

16.

he screams and you—

you’ve—

you’ve never heard a person make that noise before you’ve never you you’ve—

 

5.

_it’s okay_ , jax says. he’s shaking. _it’s okay. i’m not hurt. i was joking with ray— i said i was gonna kick your ass the next time we sparred for making me do the dishes and i think she thought— but it’s okay. she didn’t hurt me. i’m okay._

you wouldn’t be able to choose, you think. your sister’s face is blank but there is something wrong and burning in her eyes and you wouldn’t be able to choose.

 

18.

she holds you as you vomit.

her arms are cold and wrong and not quite tangible. she presses her head against yours and you feel the sticky wetness of her mouth and.

you vomit again.

 

9.

_what does it feel like?_

_you don’t remember?_

_no._

_like. um. i don’t know. i’m sorry. i don’t know what to say._

 

13.

laugh is the wrong word for it. any word would be the wrong word for the noise your sister makes. you can’t describe the way it makes your hairs stand on end, the way it makes something in your head feel very, very small.

still. you call it a laugh, because you are so tired and you are owed a miracle.

_i didn’t know you could laugh_ , you say, teasing.

she blinks at you. her eyes aren’t closing at the same time, you notice. you try very quickly to unnotice it.

_me neither_ , she says, and you ignore the too many teeth in her uncertain smile.

 

17.

she’s not looking at you but something bright and viscous drip drip drips from her mouth and he’s not moving and you—

 

3.

_no_ , you hear, later, as you slowly fall asleep in your chair. it curls around your ears like a half forgotten memory. _no, but i can try. for you._

 

11.

_really? you want us in star city_ now _?_

_well, the world’s kinda maybe ending,_ felicity says, wryly, _and you guys kinda have a space slash timeship with advanced future technology that could like, help maybe stop that._ _why, you got something more important to do?_

 

6.

_you said you wouldn’t hurt them_.

_no_ , she says, and it’s almost pitying. _no, i didn’t_.

 

15.

_you should’ve told me_ , he says. he’s angry, so angry. you did this. again. you always do this. _i had a right to know! she’s my daughter! how could you keep her from me?!_

he’s right, he’s always right, and it hurts. it _hurts_.

 

1.

_i won’t hurt you_ , she says, _i can’t._

_i know_ , you say. it comes out as a half sob. _i know_. _you’re my sister. you’re my sister._

she won’t look at you.

_you’re my sister_ , she echoes.

 

20.

_you’re my sister_ , she says, as you shake in her wrong wrong arms. _i won’t ever let anyone hurt you_.

**Author's Note:**

> [on tumblr here](https://yesokayiknow.tumblr.com/post/181538513235/sequel-to-the-eldritchlaurel-fic-so-probably-read)  
> idk i just really like this au okay dont look at me


End file.
